So perhaps it's time for you all to give up football for hockey. Iced hockey, not that dreadful hook sport beloved in Pakistan and private girls schools.
First, let's put to bed any notion that England are somehow weak for not playing soccer in the snow. It's just not on. It's football, not American football; you're not that hard.
Good. Now I did notice more than one hockey rink in London while I was there, and I even saw people skating in an outdoor rink sponsored by an underwear or "pants" company, I think. So you can skate, and you have rinks.
Because you have the BNP I can only assume you have some Don Cherry-esque blowhard (Google him, I'm sick of providing links, breaks my flow) to do the between period "analysis," and the fighting will be a welcome break from all the diving and wondering whether that was a dive and debating fifty challenges blah blah blah—now they'll just drop their gloves (no, not the little black ones certain players wore in August ROBINHO *cough*) and start punching. Iced hockey requires so much padding it's like punching a plastic bag full of plastic toys.
Yes, there are dreaded video replays in the NHL, but as my cousin pointed out at Christmas dinner, they did a study and apparently the refs have been exonerated every time. So how about that? A league with refs who never make mistakes. I mean, it won't be like that for you for some time; good luck finding a universal definition of what constitutes "slashing" in a sport where everyone's batting the ice, the puck, each other, the ref, the coach, their wives with heavy wooden sticks. But we've proved it's possible.
Just make sure you don't develop one really good player who plays for Edmonton I mean Newcastle who makes hockey popular in the US I mean Europe thus enticing the league to open all these expansion teams in Florida I mean Greece thereby draining the lifeblood out of a once noble winter sport. DON'T DO THAT.
Moving along, Fake Sigi defends MLS' single-entity set-up as ingenious! I'm scared!