Saturday, October 24, 2009

How Fabio Capello draws on rugby and ice Hockey in World Cup pursuit

Meet England's new Assistant Head Coach

Guardian Headline: Fabio Capello has revealed that the coaching style he hopes will inspire England to win the World Cup in South Africa next summer draws heavily from techniques he has picked up from interest in volleyball, baseball, rugby union and ice hockey.

" hockey is crazy because it's a mix between boxing and other sports. The referee has to stop the game all the time because each incident leads to a boxing match."

Fabio Capello: Okay, John Terry, when the opposing forward gets too close and, como se dice, slashes you with a low stick near, your ah, the ah, loose parts, you will throw off your gloves and skate up to him, and stop, and spray him with ice. Expect him to throw off his gloves also.

JT: Sorry Mr. Capello, but what do you mean by "stick"? And I never wear gloves so how can I throw them off? Is that a metaphor for like, throwing off my own ego?

FC: Yes, John Terry, yes. So when he starts ah, punching—

JT: Sorry what?

FB: —make sure you pull his jersey right over his face and start, ah, how you say, working the body with his fists. Do not worry, the referees will not intervene until one of you falls down, and you will both receive penalties. These are new coaching aspects from other games. I am Capello, I follow all sports. Football is a gigantic universal Hoover vacuum with all sports inside, and you all live inside this vacuum too with the other sports commingling like specs of dust in the empty cosmos. You understand?

JT: Uh I don't really un—

FB: Okay, now we will learn what Bridge can teach us about defending from set plays. You see, Bridge is a crazy sport because it involves aspects from poker, where everyone sits at a table playing cards, and mathematics, because of adding up points and such...


redduffman said...

That dude in the picture. Is he that wacky old coot on ABC?

Richard Whittall said...

No, he's the wacky old racist, anti-French, anti-Russian coot on CBC Sports: