I Would Take a Throw-In for England—Robert Green

Please? I'm really quite good at them.

While Terry got the headlines for announcing he would take a penalty for England in a very brave attempt to put national aspirations on the line to repair his damaged ego following a disastrous spot-kick for Cheslea in the Champions League, Robert Green held a press conference of his own.

"I'm to tell you that, in the rare occasion it might occur, I would take a throw-in for England," he told the stunned reporter sitting in a cast iron chair at the back of the room.

"It would be a source of pride for me to take a throw in, if for example I'd come out of the area and managed to clear the ball off a defender and it went out and I was the only England player there. I think it's a mark of how much I love my country, and plus I think I'm really kind of good at throw-ins, which not many people know."

Terry and Green's press conference weren't the only ones held by England internationals yesterday. Emile Heskey announced he would do his damnedest to try and stay upright over the ball in the six-yard box for a few seconds more so the ball wouldn't sail as high over the bar as it usually does. "I love my country, and if that means flailing around a bit less on perfectly teed up balls from the England midfield, than so be it."

Elsewhere, Gareth Barry told reporters he loves England so much he would really, really try and score this time if he got a free kick, and Rooney said he loves England so much he will swear at and attack opposing players and match officials.