Diego Forlan and the After Effects of Stockholm Syndrome

A rare photo of Diego Forlan inside the Old Trafford compound

Spare a thought for poor Diego Forlan.

You see, he still thinks Sir Alex Ferguson is his friend, and that he was released from the club because his boot studs were too short. But Forlan should have known that when Sir Alex asks you to wear a slightly longer stud to play in adverse weather to prevent the possibility of slipping when queuing up for a shot in the box, it probably means your use to him has run out.

Forlan has gone on record saying Sir Alex let him go for failing to heed the gaffer's advice: "I agreed to change but I didn't and, against Chelsea, I slipped in front of goal and wasted a chance. Afterwards, I rushed to the dressing room to change boots but Ferguson caught me. He grabbed the boots and threw them. That was my last game for United."

Yes Diego, that was the reason, not your paltry ten goals in 63 league appearances. This should be a warning to all players at United struggling with form (well, just Berbatov really, maybe Vidic): Sir Alex will keep you only as long as you're of use to him. And when he releases you, he will make it seem as if you did something to deserve it.

Later on, if Sir Alex comes by later on with his scouting brother in tow looking for a list of names of players from your home country, that does not mean he is your 'buddy.' You are being used. Forlan doesn't quite understand that yet: "When we were in London [with Villarreal before a Champions League game against Arsenal] Ferguson showed up at our hotel. I still have a good relationship with Sir Alex and his brother Martin. We have conversations and sometimes he asks me about South American players I might know of."

Fine Diego, but ask yourself this: when's the last time Sir Alex simply ringed up asking how you're doing without adding, "if you've seen any sixteen year-old Uruguayan footballing prodigies lately, let me know"? You've been had.

And the reason he will go on being had is that Diego Forlan is clearly suffering the after effects of Stockholm syndrome. The troubling thing is, he may not be alone at United; clearly Michael Owen is in trouble, believing Sir Alex has somehow 'saved' his career by kidnapping him from Newcastle only to leave him on the bench outside of a few token appearances. Lord knows what he's telling Berbatov.

Please. Sir Alex is NOT your friend. He is using you. You need help, urgently. You owe it to your mediocre selves to realize it before you get dumped off to League One at the age of twenty-nine with little or no playing time in the past two years.