It's Getting Too HyperReal

"Hyperreality: the simulation of something which never really existed." -- Jean Baudrillard

A few days ago, I wrote a rushed treatise on why I thought Spain is on the quickstep to becoming the centre of football in Europe. The next day, Real Madrid paid an £80 million transfer fee for Cristiano Ronaldo, and suddenly his distinct mug complete with glistening earring was on the cover of a few North American papers, followed by nauseating reports of a one night stand with Paris Hilton in Los Angeles.

David Beckham, move over: soccer has a new "IKON" in Les Etats Unis. And he's coming to America this summer along with a few friends; while most hardened journalists are loathe to mention the G word anymore when it comes to Real Madrid, it's certainly a word on the minds of attendant fans here in Toronto and Washington, the two cities hosting friendlies against Real Madrid this August. (Although I think we are deluding ourselves if we think we're going to get the full summer transfer monty; I couldn't help but chuckle reading this little Kantian obligatory moral imperative on the DC United website: "...any new summer player signings by the club will participate in the game.")

In any case the event will be a zoo, featuring the 'fans' that have taken over the Gold and Platinum sections at the ACC: the suits, the cocktail dresses, the nouveau riche 905ers, Blackberrys in hand, eager for a snap with Rockin' Ronnie. This game is already a growing locus of distrust between the South End and MLSE, casting doubts on a strong showing from the supporters' groups. No, the coming of the Nouveau Galacticos will provide a vision of BMO Field that will please the MLSE head office as well as the Teacher's Pension Plan.

A glittering game featuring one of soccer's "storied sides." It's tempting to get weepy eyed remember the early halcyon days of the European Cup, with Di Stefano and later Puskas running circles around hapless continental defences. Many Madristas are deluding themselves that the mistakes of the previous Figo-Zidane-Ronaldo-Beckham Galacticos era are behind them now, but Real still seem stuck in trying to recreate a side that may have never really existed, at least in the way they envision. But for Toronto's soccer faithful, it will be a show about as fake as the turf underneath the freshly rolled out grass, the grass Toronto FC's players may still have to wait for.

Until MLSE begins treating both its club and their supporters with the respect they've given Real Madrid's travelling circus of stars, count me out.