Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Gareth Barry in Negotiations for Move to Manchester City

In conversation with a Legend

So Gareth, what are you looking for in a football club that you can't get from Aston Villa?
A place in the Champions League? A chance at winning the Premier League title?

Those things are great, believe you me. But no, what I'm looking for is a club barely able to make tenth in the league table. Also, I don't like playing well away from home; it's too taxing. I'd like to lose many, many games away from home. There are way less of our fans than the other team's on days when you play away from home, so it's harder to do pass and shoot and stuff without getting yelled at a lot.

Oh.

But it's not all about the football you know. I'd also enjoy getting lots and lots of money. You can get lots and lots of money at some clubs because their owners are rich beyond anyone's wildest dreams. Some of these owners will give me this money—which they apparently get because of petrol or something—if I play football on their team.

I see.

And money can be exchanged for goods and services, to buy things like Ferrari's and women.

Right.

So you spoke to Rick right? I'm getting paid for this interview? What's a blog? You're not from CNN? I think I heard some change dangling in your pocket earlier, that should be okay. And your credit card. The bathroom? Down the hall I think. See you in a bit, and don't forget to write down your card PIN.

1 comment:

Duane Rollins said...

Long live modern football.

[/City fan]