Montreal vs. Toronto is Not a Derby

Now THAT's a rivalry

How can it be?

It's not like the Impact will get promoted to MLS anytime soon. And you can't graft on rivalries from other sports—the grudge match between the Maple Leafs and the Canadiens has its own glorious history in the NHL. You'd have to go back to the Carls-Rite Cup matches between Toronto and Montreal soccer all-stars (1914-1931) for a proper Quebec-Ontario rivalry. Well, that maybe and the games between Montreal Carsteel and Toronto Ulster in the NSL (now the CSL) prior to the Second World War (BTW, Carsteel is a boss name and should be used again).

What about the two solitudes? Most Torontonians in their twenties love Montreal. In fact, I suspect half the twenty-year olds from Toronto currently live in Montreal, cashing their parents' cheques on rent, Labatt 50 and Fairmount bagels. And the smoked meat poutine at The Main. Separatism still lives, but kind of like an old ugly shirt worn by a loved one that you've given up trying to donate to the Goodwill on Sunday afternoon while he or she watches the game.

When I saw Montreal draw us to take the Sugar Drink Canadian Content Cup last year, I didn't get the sense of a derby grudge match, I got the sense of a middling Carling Cup fixture we should have won but didn't because half our players were past it. Columbus I'm willing to buy as a derby rival, seeing as we've never beat them, they're close to us, they're American, and we sent a proper away contingent to pee on their Church lawns while we got tasered. Perhaps if something special happens tonight at BMO Field, you know, we sing the Maple Leaf for ever and they sing some sort of Quiet Revolution era folk song, I'll buy it.

Or the football is half decent, either/or.