Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Hooray for Ben Foster's iPod: Let's Kickstart Football 2.0

Me (not pictured) and the band

The internet has gone mental over reports that young Man United keeper Ben Foster reviewed video evidence of his opposing penalty takers last weekend—wait for it—on his iPod!!!

Wow! Here are some further developments I'd like to see introduced to make the game ever so slightly easier for everyone involved.

Video Replay Holograms: We know this technology's coming one way or another; why not "wow" the controversy away with jaw-dropping special effects? Who needs multiple camera angles to find out if Lucas Neill has own-goaled it over the line when you can simply "rotate the hologram" (also the name of my eighties synth band's first album)?

Microchip Footballs:
It's not mod unless it's got a microchip in it. Could be used to...locate the ball or something if it gets stuck somewhere underneath a seat, and there are...no other balls available? Yep.

Digital tactics and formations: If you move something from analogue to digital, you can fit in a lot more stuff, so digital tactics would mean there would be more room for tactics. And formations.

Lasers: Yeah, I haven't really thought this one through yet. I just think sport in general and football in particular could do with some more lasers.

Phew! I can see the future already! And unfortunately it's a smoky wasteland where football passes the time in between foraging and battles with hordes of post-nuclear mutants, possibly listening to their half-melted iPods I don't know.


Ian Symes said...

Re: video replay holograms.

I'm afraid Sky Sports beat you to it by a few years with their "Virtual Replay" feature. Andy Gray pauses the action, and the players get replaced by very crappy N64-era 3D representations. Swizzle the camera round a bit and - yes, the ball did cross the line for that throw-in in the third minute.

(Hello, by the way. Long time reader, first time commenter.)

Richard Whittall said...

Hello Ian.

Don't knock the old N64 there...those 3D images kept me out of trouble in my early high school days.

And parties. And...fun?