Saturday, February 21, 2009

Aston Villa: The RECKONING


This March, get ready for what Aston Villa fans are already calling "THE CAPITULATION OF THE YEAR."

When a rag tag group of middling Premiership players came together to take on the financial might of the Big Four, they didn't count on one man (a Dutchman actually) with a tactically-sensible plan and intricate knowledge of Chelsea's complex feudal system of 'cliques.'

"CAREW! No! Not another missed chance!"

"I...I just don't know why I was subbed on for Curtis Davies! It didn't do ANYTHING TO STOP THEM!"

Featuring non-stop, grindingly ineffective footballing action, periodically brilliant saves by Brad Friedel—

"Chelsea's blackshirts, I just, I CAN'T SEE THEM IN THIS BLINDING SUN! Oh GOD! Where is Cuellar going, JESUS CHRIST!"

—and a keeper/back four love story that will get the ladies SWOONING like mad!

"Hey Friedel, you saved our asses back there. I've...I've always loved you."

"Sorry Zat, come again?"

Martin O'Neill—"That was OUR THROW IN! You're all doing a great job out there, great stuff everyone, be sure to thank the fans for coming out after the game!"

Guus Hiddink—"I'm Guus Hiddink"

and Gene Hackman as Phil "Philly Cheese Steak" Scolari star in,

Aston Villa: The RECKONING!

Big Four THIS.

Rated R, may incite adult situations, course language, drug use.

1 comment:

Fredorrarci said...

You call that a capitulation? This is a capitulation...