Wednesday, January 14, 2009

A Team Talk with Martin O'Neill, According to Tony Mowbray

Hey! Wipe that interested look off your face!

West Brom boss Tony Mowbray has launched an attack on Aston Villa – saying they are "not really interested in playing football."

“Villa do well because they have got defenders who head it and kick it basically and defend their goal, which is a crucial part of the game,” he told the Express & Star.

“At the other end of the pitch, they have got a striker who scores goals every time he goes on the pitch.

“Ultimately, that’s what football is about – stopping it at one end and scoring at the other. They’re winning football matches."


Alright boys, first things first: you are not interested in playing football. I know 'playing football' may seem to be what we do week in and week out, but if that's really what you think, you should go ahead and douse your Villa shirt with gasoline and set it on fire, preferably while you're wearing it. It's not worthy of you.

We are Villa. We are not interested in 'playing football.'

You, Laursen, Zat, Davies -- your job is to head the ball and kick it basically and defend your goal, which is a crucial part of the game. But don't look too interested while you're doing it. Especially you Laursen.

Moving along; Gabby, your job is to score a goal every time you go out on the pitch. Impossible you say? Well then you shouldn't be playing for Martin O'Neill's Aston Villa. You're out. Harewood, you're in. Harewood - same thing I told Gabby.

Look people, ultimately that's what football is all about, stopping it at one end and scoring at the other. Oh, and doing both as disinterestedly as possible.

So, summing up, don't be interested in playing football, just defend the goal by heading the ball and basically kicking it, and then you Harewood, go out and score everytime you go out on the pitch. Okay?

Put your hands down everyone, I'm not answering questions. We're winning football matches, what more do you want?




2 comments:

Brian said...

Just to be sure I understand this:

Villa are "not really interested in playing football."

However, what they're doing is "ultimately...what football is about."

Okay, Tony Mowbray. Okay, then.

Sand.Man said...

Hahaha! Nice one, Richard. :)