Due to popular demand, I'm going to milk this thing for all its worth, and then when people get bored or I really miss the mark I'll try and come up with some sort of intelligent analysis or something.
Number 2. Conspicuous Use of the Term 'Football.'
"Football" is one of the North American Football Fan's favourite words, because it serves multiple social uses. For example, a NAFF might say in casual conversation, "The only sport I really follow is football." The non-NAFF will immediately assume the NAFF is referring to American Football, the four-quarter gridiron game that is often the NAFF's least favourite sport. This confusion is intended, because then the NAFF can correct the non-NAFF by saying something like, "No, I'm referring to actual 'football', you know, the one that involves use of your feet? American football is association football's developmentally challenged bastard child." By using the term 'football,' the NAFF can express his or her total disdain for indigenous North American sports.
The term's use doesn't stop there. For example, the non-NAFF might innocently reply, "Don't you mean soccer?" The non-NAFF has made a fatal error. Now the NAFF can make a further point -- that he is not merely a fan of the game played by school children across the United States and the Canada, but a participant in the Global Culture of Football. The NAFF is now free to demonstrate to explain that 'football' is not merely a game to be badly played in grade school, but a global sport phenomenon that North Americans "just don't seem to get. 'Soccer' is sooo American. 'Football' is what the rest of the world uses."
WARNING: You must be careful when using terms like "footie" or "futbol" around NAFF's. They will assume you are patronizing them, or that you are a newbie who picked up these words when away on a Student Exchange program.
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