Sunday, September 14, 2008

Sir Alex's First Training Session Without Carlos Queiroz, Based on their Performance at Anfield

"And he also let us stay up really late too."

Sir Alex: So, what...och aye, what did ye do when Carlos was around?

Rio: We did some boxes. Like played a game with three guys keeping the ball away from another one.

Sir Alex: Okay then. Do that then. That sounds good. What else?

Rooney: Well...he let us off training early. For the, um, psychological advantage? And he allowed shepherd's pie in the caf.

Sir Alex: I don't remember shepherd's pie getting served in the cafeteria.

Rooney: When was the last time you ate in the players' cafeteria Mr. Ferguson?

Sir Alex: About three years ago.

Rooney: Yeah, it was right after that.

Tevez: And sir, Q let us take women with us on the bus.

Hargreaves: Yup, and he...uh...he let us drink before matches. For nerves and everything.

Sir Alex: Carlos said you could do that? You're nae pulling my leg now are ye?

Nani: No Sir Alex honest. To be honest, we only trained maybe...once a week? He told us to do whatever we wanted the rest of the time. Mostly reckless clubbing. Revolutionary techniques really. We won the title!

Sir Alex: Well okay then. It seems mighty strange but to be honest, I never knew what Carlos was going on about half the time anyway. Alright, see you Saturday. Have fun. If you need me, I'll be with the sommelier in my office.


ursus arctos said...

The best one yet.

Colin Smith said...

Oh what a knight!
Your Scottish accent is spot on and so is your imagination.