Sunday, September 14, 2008

Sir Alex's First Training Session Without Carlos Queiroz, Based on their Performance at Anfield

"And he also let us stay up really late too."

Sir Alex: So, what...och aye, what did ye do when Carlos was around?

Rio: We did some boxes. Like played a game with three guys keeping the ball away from another one.

Sir Alex: Okay then. Do that then. That sounds good. What else?

Rooney: Well...he let us off training early. For the, um, psychological advantage? And he allowed shepherd's pie in the caf.

Sir Alex: I don't remember shepherd's pie getting served in the cafeteria.

Rooney: When was the last time you ate in the players' cafeteria Mr. Ferguson?

Sir Alex: About three years ago.

Rooney: Yeah, it was right after that.

Tevez: And sir, Q let us take women with us on the bus.

Hargreaves: Yup, and he...uh...he let us drink before matches. For nerves and everything.

Sir Alex: Carlos said you could do that? You're nae pulling my leg now are ye?

Nani: No Sir Alex honest. To be honest, we only trained maybe...once a week? He told us to do whatever we wanted the rest of the time. Mostly reckless clubbing. Revolutionary techniques really. We won the title!

Sir Alex: Well okay then. It seems mighty strange but to be honest, I never knew what Carlos was going on about half the time anyway. Alright, see you Saturday. Have fun. If you need me, I'll be with the sommelier in my office.

2 comments:

ursus arctos said...

The best one yet.

Colin Smith said...

Oh what a knight!
Your Scottish accent is spot on and so is your imagination.