West Ham v. Manchester United

Game Review

Rating: ***1/2 (out of four)

Media of Choice: Setanta Sports, BBC Live Scores.

Shortly before Manchester United kicked off against the Hammers at Upton Park, I silently ruminated on Setanta’s policy of broadcasting live scores from other games in the PL during the main event. It’s kowtowing to the punters I thought to myself, a bit angrily. After all, sometime in the wee hours of the morning Setanta might rebroadcast my little midlands club visiting the Mecca of football, the JJB, and I might not want to know the score beforehand to preserve the 'mystery'. The next two hours proved me wrong, and how.

West Ham’s likely but unlikely victory at Upton Park was indeed a glorious game for the neutral; the play was neat and tidy, space opened up readily for the home side, some great chances were wasted by the Hammers in the first half, then a master-class goal from Ronaldo, a master-class missed penalty from Ronaldo, and two wonderful second-half set-piece goals from Anton Ferdinand (thank Christ Setanta didn’t play up the whole ‘brothers’ thing, everyone knows Rio was adopted from a Mongolian orphanage) and Matthew Upson to cap a deserved win. Details on this exciting victory can be found anywhere, let’s choose here.

But what really got the blood flowing on the day was the live score ticker. At first things seemed to be pretty normal, Chelsea up one-nil, Reading sneaking a goal and then getting pegged back at White Hart Lane, Villa (bloody f*cking Villa!!) and their annual Christmas Collapse, going down one-nil to TITUS BRAMBLE *endless sigh* at the JJB.

Then all hell seemed to break lose. Suddenly I wanted to have the entire Premier League Saturday fixture line-up on one screen – Sunderland putting a second goal past Bolton, Boro going one up against Portsmouth (good for Villa), second half fury, Villa equalizing, a ping-pong exchange between Reading and Spurs ending up at 4-4, then 5-4, then 6-4 Spurs, Agbonlahor putting Villa ahead, the ticker was going crazy, so crazy it started to screw up and update old scores twice. Suddenly West Ham v. Manchester United seemed boring in comparison with the yellow and back flippy sign-post thing in the top left-hand corner of the screen. So I take it back Setanta; ruin away. It’s not like I don’t cave immediately after coming home and check the interweb anyway.

(Editor's Note: Please spare a few thoughts for the family of Phil O'Donnell, Motherwell captain, who collapsed and died today after Motherwell played Dundee United. He was by all accounts a stand-up Scot who made his team, his country, and most importantly, his family, proud. He will be missed.)