Marseille v. Liverpool

Game Review
** (out of four)
Medium of Choice: Guardian Unlimited Minute-by-Minute Report

While the broadcasters at the Beebs have called this a ‘masterpiece’ from Liverpool, I can’t say that it was at all as entertaining as it could have been. Liverpool of course needed a win or a draw-if-Besiktas-the-corrupt-Shower-from-Turkey-were-to-beat-Porto to advance to the final 16 of the Champions League. Marseille, who have been undefeated in their last four league matches, were touted as a tricky arch nemesis hoping to do a double on the Jekyll n’ Hyders from Merseyside who lost 3-1 to Reading on the weekend. It had all the potential of rich Scouse humiliation and that priceless look from Gerrard to Benitez that says, “I’m leaving in the summer. No one understands my genius.”

It was a fast paced opening; Gerrard was judged to have been fouled and a penalty given, which was first missed and then placed back where it belonged in short order, much like me trying to throw that half-eaten banana in the garbage at home few weeks back. Then Torres did his Thang™ which has now earned him a Thierry Henry comparison. Barf…the thing was pretty much written in stone at the point, Marseille looking like a diseased Llama on the attack, and then a goal from Kuyt on a sloppy goal kick and Babel sticking one in at the end like they do in West Hollywood.

Come on, Marseille. French football is already so pathetic, and then you had to go and waste an opportunity to prevent the fast paced belting of ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone” for another year, at least on weekdays. Sacre bleu.